God knows why you are so useless,
Please go back to Massachusetts.
I spent all my time,
You're not worth a dime,
So please...hurry back to Massachusetts.

I met you when you were starving,
You told me you came from Harding.
Such a little town,
Yet you were a clown,
And I was the turkey you were carving.

You shure gave me the blues,
Something that can't be excused,
I've been abused, misused,
Now it's you that's going to loose !!

"I guess it all happened in 1951,
Air was bright, the grass was green,
Harding.... Massachusetts.
Young boy needs woman,
Young boy meets Alice."

"But all Alice wanted was $$$,
And the blues he got,
Was due to the carvation knife from Turkey."

So he shouted : "Oowhapadapadoowha...Oowha !...
Oowhapadapadoowha...Oowha !!..."

Yes he shouted: "Oowha...Oowhapadapadoowha !!!...
Oowha...Oowhapadapadoowha !!!!...
Oowha !!!!!...
Oowha !!!!!!...
Oowhapadapadoowhaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!"

Voice over: Ben Turpin
Fretless Bass : Diesel
"Starving": Gonzo and the Kenau's
Milk and Cookies: Mike